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McSweeney’s
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Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
Daily humor almost every day since 1998.
The Believer Magazine

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Short Imagined Monologues

Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.

  • August 30, 2006
    A Push-Reel Mower’s Rumination on Mowing the Lawn in the Gas-Powered Age
    by Brian Slattery
  • August 11, 2006
    Final Thoughts of the Big Bald Shirtless German Soldier Who Beat Up Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark
    by Ralph Gamelli
  • July 26, 2006
    Bob Hope Auditions for the Role of Quint in Jaws: April 12, 1974 (The USS Indianapolis Monologue)
    by Robert Hornak
  • June 12, 2006
    An Unwelcome Confession From Someone Whose Hand Is in Your Mouth
    by Emma Rowley
  • June 2, 2006
    Alligators Are the New Sharks, as Rebutted by a Shark
    by Eric Edwards
  • May 18, 2006
    The Garter Snake in 11-Year-Old Kevin Wackerbarth’s Terrarium
    by Ned Rust
  • May 11, 2006
    David Caruso Scolds His Cat About Its Lackadaisical Litter Box Use
    by Brian Graham
  • April 27, 2006
    Britney Spears Responds to Daniel Edwards’s Sculpture Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston
    by Julie Bear
  • April 11, 2006
    Timothy Treadwell’s Screen Tests for Cheers
    by Eugenia Williamson
  • December 20, 2005
    Ryan Adams Gives a Speech to a Little League Team He Coaches, Before the Championship Game
    by Roger Marks
  • November 17, 2005
    The Thoughts of Burt Reynolds Upon Stumbling on a Rerun of Win, Lose, or Draw on the Game Show Network on August 9, 2005
    by Ben Hogan
  • October 12, 2005
    Dr. Robotnik’s Proposal to His Board of Shareholders
    by Mark Alletag
⇦ … 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 ⇨
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McSweeney’s is an independent nonprofit publishing company based in San Francisco.
As well as operating a daily humor website, we also publish Timothy McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Illustoria and an ever-growing selection of books under various imprints. You can buy all of these things from our online store. You can support us today by making a donation.

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