McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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January 8, 2021Dry January Is Shocked By Your Naïveté
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January 7, 2021I’m the 25th Amendment, and I’ve Been Waiting for This Moment My Entire Life
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January 6, 2021“You Fuckers Really Screwed This Up”: A Message from James Madison on the 2020 Electoral Count
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January 5, 2021Hi Teachers, It’s Me, the Google Classroom Private Comment Function, and I’m Here to Save the Day
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December 23, 2020Timothy Cratchit’s Socialist Manifesto
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December 21, 2020I’m Kris Kringle from the 1970 TV Movie Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town and It Is Time to Let Me Die
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December 16, 2020The Cashier from “The Christmas Shoes” Breaks His Silence
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December 8, 2020Think 2020 Has Been Long for You? I’m the Kid from Tuck Everlasting, and It’s Literally Been Forever for Me
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December 7, 2020I Am the Facebook Algorithm and I Come to You Now, Requesting a Swift and Merciful Death
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December 1, 2020I’m the 4:30 P.M. Sunset and I’d Like to Clarify a Few Things
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November 20, 2020The 2020 Rockefeller Center Tree Speaks
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November 13, 2020I Am Belphegor, the Demon of Sloth, and I Think It’s Time for Trump to Concede the Election